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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."
What did the boy with no arms get for his Birthday? Don't know he hasn't opened it yet...