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Promises are like babies. Fun to make, but hell to deliver.

A blonde and a brunette walk past a flower shop and the brunette sees her boyfriend buying flowers. She sighs and says, "Oh crap, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again. Now, I'll be expected to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air." The blonde says, "Don't you have a vase?"

Man on steroids and his penis

When the men hear that the woman is about to bathe

Waiting for the New Year