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Sleeping - expectation and reality

A man goes to a bar and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" The man says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by now."

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.

I want to be a teddy bear

Steering wheel?