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A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, "What are you going to do with all of those?" The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them, and now he shits in little plastic baggies!"
The condom was first invented by a Welshman by using a sheep's intestine. The English later improved it by removing the intestine from the sheep first.