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The police stops a computer hardware engineer: Your light isnt working. You have to get off your bike. IT guy: I tried that but the light still isnt working.
"Mom can I get twenty bucks?", "Does it look like I am made of money?", "Well isn't that what M.O.M stands for?"
Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There's no menu: You get what you deserve.
Why is it a bad idea for two butt cheeks to get married? Because they part for every little shit.
This summer, I'm going to go to the beach and bury metal objects that say "Get a life" on them.