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Late one night a robber wearing a mask stopped a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money," he demanded. Scandalized, the man replied, "You cant do this Im a US Congressman!" "Oh! In that case," smiled the robber, "Give me MY money!"
Ive always thought my neighbours were quite nice people. But then they put a password on their Wi-Fi.
Hearing voices in your head is normal. Listening to them is quite common. Arguing with them acceptable. It is only when you lose that argument that you get in real trouble.
My neighbours are listening to great music. Whether they like it or not.
A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, "What are you going to do with all of those?" The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them, and now he shits in little plastic baggies!"