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One time, a guy handed me a picture and said, "Here's a picture of me when I was younger". Every picture of you is when you were younger.
What do you get when you cross an iPhone 6 plus and skinny jeans? A LG Flex.
If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?
What do you call a stolen Tesla? An Edison.
There's a way of telling if an orange is male or female. If it squirts you in your eye without warning, it's a male. If it's bitter for no apparent reason, it's a female.