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What should you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
What's the difference between your wife and your job? After five years your job will still suck.
My friend and I often laugh about how competitive we are. But I laugh more.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month." Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."