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I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, "I'm going to mop the floor with your face". I said, "You'll be sorry". He said, "Oh, yeah? Why?" I said, "Well, you won't be able to get into the corners very well."
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..