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"I have good news and bad news," the defence lawyer says to his client. "What's the bad news?" The lawyer says, "Your blood matches the DNA found at the murder scene." "Dammit!" cries the client. "What's the good news?" "Well," the lawyer says, "Your cholesterol is down to 140."
Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania? Because all his other wives support Hillary.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day, drinking beer.
If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed, if you do read the newspaper you are misinformed.
One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. The same as one Monday on Earth.