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I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
Some people are like Slinkies. Not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up.
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.