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A guy walks into a store and buys six jumbo boxes of condoms. The store clerk asks the man, "What are you going to do with all of those?" The guy replies, "I taught my dog to swallow them, and now he shits in little plastic baggies!"
A blind man walks into a bar with his seeing-eye dog. He stands in the centre of the bar, takes the dog by the chain, and starts swinging him above his head. Everyone stops and stares. Upset about the way the animal is being treated, a patron runs up to the blind man and demands, "What the hell are you doing?" The blind man turns toward the patron and says, "Oh, nothing, just looking around."
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
I wonder what my parents did to fight boredom before the internet. I asked my 17 brothers and sisters and they didn't know either.
Run early in the morning, before your brain figures out what you're really doing.